Integration

As I was sitting in savasana today at my morning yoga class, a concept kept arising into consciousness. It was Integration.

I have been wondering if my search for balance and equilibrium is actually a search for integration. Bringing together my personal and professional lives, uniting my body, mind and spirit, accepting the positives and the negatives. It is all part of one rich and fulfilling life, after all.

Why do I find it challenging? Perhaps my scientific training works against me here. I strive to isolate variables, to design proper controls, to decrease “confounding factors.” It is a noble pursuit, when we want to understand a mechanism for how a system works.

I then consider another concept from a similar root: Integrity. These concepts both relate to a state of being whole. Stemming from a similar Latin root, these words express something I continue to seek.

It is not so much about work/life balance, which always reminds me of a seesaw. It is more about bringing it all together, not having to isolate parts of myself in certain  contexts, but rather bringing my whole self to every situation. I like the yin/yang concept, and the idea that we have complementary parts within us. I have written about this before.  Perhaps that is what this blog is about, to integrate the “mexi” and the “minnesotana” parts more meaningfully, in every part of my life.

What if we viewed the entire natural sphere as an integrated whole, all part of some vast and intricate web? Everything, everyone and all of the in between is connected. We are not binary – one against another, us against them. We are all part of this vast universal story, ever changing, ever growing, ever recycling the parts that need to evolve to something new.

This brings so much peace to me, embracing both my darkness and my light. It means acceptance of what I am, where I am today in my journey, not chiding myself that I am not further along. Change unfolds gradually and when I “push” instead of allowing, it often sets me back. I am eager to know what is next, to see around the next corner, but I need not worry.

My soul works and plays at finding integration, and it seems to accomplish this better without the fretting of my ego or mind. When I pay attention to this sense of ease and the grace that comes from sitting still or small movements, I notice progress toward integration. At the same time, I notice myself acting with greater integrity in the world. This feels like a true definition of success for me.

I am enjoying the rays of sunshine streaming into my window and want to walk outside in the fresh air, to be at one with the loveliness around me. So I will close this post. I leave you with a song by Scott Orr called “Slow Down” which I discovered in a yoga class this past week. May you, my dear reader, experience a beautiful and integrated weekend and slow down enough to notice the integration and grace all around you.