Starting over again

Right now I am going through a period of transition related to my career. I have spent over 10 years in the clinical research field, and have general expertise on clinical research regulations in Latin America (but not as much in the U.S., where most of the jobs exist). I keep thinking I want to leave and change fields. It is a highly bureaucratic area of expertise. There is high demand and there is also high turnover.

My current company has added more layers of bureaucracy in its hiring and contracting processes. They have also made it nearly impossible to contract with small vendors or independent consultants. Right now a translator that did some work with us several months ago still has an outstanding invoice and our payment/vendor team is not working with me to fix the situation. They keep passing the buck to another person/department when I ask for help.

So sometimes I wonder if the major stumbling block for me is the incredible level of internal bureaucracy at my company, or the true work of getting clinical trials off the ground, or perhaps those two “squared” or compounded?

People complain that the government sector is not very efficient, that there is a lot of waste in what they do. Perhaps this is true, I do not work in that sector. What I do know is that there is a tremendous amount of waste in corporations. It is painful to see it sometimes, the workarounds we have to use because our systems do not work for real people. We claim to care about innovation, and yet we are the LAST to fix the internal bugs that create massive challenges in getting things done here.

I consulted my financial adviser a few weeks ago to figure out a plan for leaving this job, and he suggested getting some recruiters to work on my behalf in finding something new. If I wanted to stay in clinical research, that might be more feasible. But since I want to leave the whole business behind, that seems harder to do. If any of y’all have experience with that, please weigh in, will you?

I really do not mind starting over in some ways. I have done it already a couple of times in my career. I know that fear of the short-term consequences is a part of my reluctance more than a true assessment about what is best for the future. So there is the hope of better things, and also frustration that comes about with not being able to enact the changes I want in this current space.

Then there is a blissful surrender I feel when I consider that I will no longer be propping up a system which is broken and dysfunctional. I feel great relief when I consider that possibility. It almost seems like a an act of service when I look at it that way.

Now, the process of narrowing down what I will do next. I am still getting there, thinking about whether there is a side hustle I can start up in the process before making the break from the full-time job. Starting over in a new field will not be a true start from scratch, since I now have experience in the world that I can apply to the new venture. It will involve re-invention and a creative approach. That is the exciting part. It will involve taking some actions outside my comfort zone. I know I can do that, and I will do it.

Ready.