After my period of organizing journals yesterday, I opted to read through some few early ones. I was only 18 then, just graduated from high school and readying myself for college. I noticed a few things that made me sad for the young woman I was then.
I had such intense body hatred and frequently chided myself about my weight. I was convinced that no guy would ever want me because I was too fat (even though I was just a few pounds overweight). I was hard on myself about academics and I was very achievement-oriented. I did not cut myself a lot of slack. I seemed to feel lonely and disconnected a lot, while I also craved and valued alone-time.
I longed to comfort that earlier version of myself, the one who worried so much, and felt I somehow never measured up or fit in. I wanted to send her some love. So I wrote a little note that I stuck into the last page of the journal:
Dear Cristy (of times past),
You are lovely the way you are. No need to beat yourself up so much. You will find love someday and more compassion and appreciation for yourself. You will be just fine, and your life will turn out to be more exciting than you can imagine. Try to worry less and enjoy yourself more. Cut yourself some slack. You deserve it.
Love Cristy (the older and wiser one)
***
It occurred to me that the older version of myself, perhaps 5 or 10 years or more into the future might give the me that same advice. As I continue to practice compassion and extend forgiveness toward myself and others, the burdens of life lighten. As I have begun to know myself better and appreciate the light and the dark, I continue to be curious about what I will discover.
We are always moving forward in life. I do not cling to the past. But now and then, reflecting on those lessons I have learned gives me appreciation for the person I am today. If you were to write a letter to your younger self, what advice would you give? What would your future self tell you?
cristy@meximinnesotana.com
I was married in 18yo (first time lol)
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I was married at 22 years old (also first time around – it was the “starter” marriage). Lol!
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I was married at 22 years old (also first time around – it was the “starter” marriage). Lol! Thanks for your comments!
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Ok…I think it’s very young 🙂 but sometimes happy marriages r happening even if married in 17. My childhood friend was married 17 (her husband was 24) & they still happy. But we learned our lesson 🤓✌️
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I tell people they shouldn’t get married until at least 30…for sure I didn’t grow up and figure out the direction I wanted to go in my life until then! 😉
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Agreed 🙂 with ur advice
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I love your letter & agreed when we r younger we usually have a totally different image of life & ourselves. About my letter…I’d say – skip 1st & 2d marriage. Wait & you’ll get there where u supposed to be. Don’t rush to live
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Lol. I am in my second marriage now, after 4 years of dating and then another 3 years living together. I’d been divorced for ~12 years so that felt like a good amount of time after the first one lasted 7 years. 😉
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This is very thought-provoking. I wish that we all had saved journals so that we could look back to do this! I would probably tell my younger self to discover what’s really important in life and to savor the days when my daughters were young children, since I feel like I missed many sweet moments.
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Oh, wonderful. Yes! We do not spend enough time savoring our days in general, do we? Thank you for that comment, that means a lot to me.
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I would mention that the hard times are opportunities to show your strength; and that life gets better the older you get. One learns to choose between wasting emotional energy and using it to enjoy life. Life truly does get easier as you age.
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Yes! Beautiful.
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The saying that youth is wasted on the young – becomes so real as you get older and look back at your younger self and realise how much time you wasted worrying about things that really didn’t matter.
For me I’d tell myself to grab life with both hands and have a go and not to worry what others thought.
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Yes! I think it’s the reason I don’t mind getting older. This wisdom is precious and our experiences are the best teacher. Thanks for your thoughtful comment!
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