Drama vs math – on financial clarity

On Tuesday I was set to do my semi-monthly financial accounting. I did not want to do it, and I could feel myself procrastinating and avoiding it as much as possible. So I practiced something I have learned to help me figure out my thoughts when I am having trouble moving forward – a thought download in my journal.

Our thoughts create our emotions, our emotions drive our actions (or behavior), and our actions are what determine our results. I needed to figure out which thoughts were causing my resistance/discomfort which was driving my avoidance. What I determined that I was creating drama about what the numbers would mean, ahead of the clarity of even knowing them. In the end, my bank balances, investments and credit balances are just math.

I was afraid I would beat myself up for not saving enough, or feel a sense of scarcity as we get to the end of my “runway” as far as getting more income rolling by this point. But then I realized that I am committed to this journey, and while things may be tight for a while, I have a lot of options to consider.

picture of money in hand
Photo credit link

Even before I got the numbers down on paper, I decided to think different thoughts, like: what a blessing it was to have saved up the money to have time off between my job and my new venture. I can also think: I am resilient and always figure out what I need to do next. These thoughts are true, and felt better than the scarcity thoughts I had manufactured.

Once I got the numbers down on paper, and figured out where things stood, I felt so much better. Nothing is worse that feeling of confusion or fogginess about reality, and not being able to make good decisions as a result. I realized, through a bit of self-coaching and compassion toward myself, I could choose not to get caught up in story or the drama my mind was creating.

Now that I am clear on where things stand, I can make better decisions going forward. Looking at the math, and evaluating the situation based on a more generative and abundant mindset was key to getting that task done. I am grateful that I have learned tools for emotional management that will serve me well going forward.

cristy@meximinnesotana.com

 

 

 

High net growth v. high net worth

I want to riff a bit on a chapter of Jenny Blake’s book Pivot on “High Net Growth” individuals. It is a concept that resonates so deeply with me. We all know that there are “high net worth” people who measure their success by the amount of assets they accumulate. They value material measures of success.

In contrast, high net growth individuals are driven by purpose, fulfillment, impact and learning. When we become too comfortable in a role, we get bored. Rather than settling in, we aim for projects and roles that will stretch our skills and capabilities and allow us to grow.

high net growth
From the Pivot website by Jenny Blake

It is not that financial resources do not matter. Indeed they do, and they allow us flexibility and choice.  But beyond taking care of our needs and earning a comfortable living, the real reward is knowing you have made an impact in a significant way. This perspective reflects some privilege. But it is one in which we use our privilege to expand possibilities for more people.

While I was at a prospective student interview for my alma mater this evening, I got inspired by the openness and curiosity of a young man in an exciting phase of his life, just before choosing his college path. When we are young, this orientation toward growth and learning is easy to cultivate. But it is a lifelong journey. We never stop growing, and though it can be uncomfortable at times, I find it is the only activity that truly satisfies me.

Are you a high net growth individual? How do you cultivate and support other high net growth team members? 

cristy@meximinnesotana.com

 

Pivot and the power of voice

Hi friends,

I kept my word and took a couple days off writing recently. Well, I managed Saturday and Monday. Apparently I cannot resist writing *something* like a haiku on the weekends, even when I was determined to take a break. There really is something to a daily habit that is kind of irresistible.

Yesterday I shared a post from a favorite blogger, and I think I will do that a bit more during the holiday season. I am trying to get organized to keep that information and schedule it out in advance, which is fortunately easy to do on the “old” WordPress editor to which I managed to down-grade.

jenny-blake.jpg
Jenny Blake – from her site. I hope she will forgive me for cribbing the picture since I am promoting her book and podcast.

Lately I have been binge-listening to a podcast show that I really enjoy, called the Pivot Podcast by Jenny Blake. I actually discovered the book while I was in an AirBnB in October, and it felt like the perfect read for my business transition. When I realized Jenny had a podcast, I also checked it out. She introduced me to Penny Pierce, who wrote The Intuitive Way, which is also precious wisdom.

I have been musing on why I cannot get enough of Jenny. I realize it is partly her voice, and the sincerity and openness with which she approaches her craft. Most of her shows are interviews of authors, but a few are solo riffs. She is a public speaker and does keynote addresses, so obviously she has practiced. But I find it easier to connect with authors who are willing to risk the relatively more “vulnerable” practice of using their voices as well as their written words. Also, she is about a decade younger than me, and the wisdom beyond her years amazes me.

It makes me consider whether I want to experiment with such a medium someday, even though I know there’s a crowded media market. It is interesting how podcasts are democratizing a “radio” market, somewhat like blogs democratized the written media market.

I typically like to listen while I’m in my car running errands. I’m a fan public radio and I support my local station each month. But with the news the way it is, I stopped listening daily after Trump was elected. I just couldn’t absorb it all the time. I switched to podcasts so I could “curate” my listening experience a bit more. This post reminded me to update my Audiophiles page. If you are traveling for the holidays and looking for some audio companionship on your journey, check it out. Cheers!

cristy@meximinnesotana.com

 

 

Defeating self-doubt

Yesterday during a coaching session with my dear and wonderful coach, Elizabeth, I got an acceptance on another science writing and research contract offer. While I am in coaching sessions, I do not have my phone on. But I saw the message as soon as I left the session.

Last Friday I had put in the proposal, since it was on sleep research, a topic near and dear to my heart. I know that some of these postings get 20-50 proposals on the first day, so I had no idea if I would actually get it. But I wanted it enough that I crafted a hook in the first line that must have gotten through, even though there were many other applicants. My blog was the source of several of my writing samples!

Courtesy of Canva designs – copyright mexi-minnesotana 2018.

I realized that if I had let my self-doubt take over as I wrote that proposal, I never would have landed the work. I have this little naysayer voice in my head sometimes when I work. Do you have one too? It’s Anne Lamott’s little “Radio KF*CKD” voice. It says things like, “you’ll never get this one, why are you bothering? You’re too new to this platform. Your last client did not even leave a review yet…” 

But a wiser voice (the one I trust more) says: “well, if you don’t submit it, you definitely won’t get it. Just take a few minutes, put in the proposal to get some practice at this. You have to make a certain number of these proposals to see what “sticks.” Don’t be too disappointed if it does not come in, this is a numbers game. Just keep working at it.”

Yup. It’s true. No I am not crazy. Turns out this is normal: we all have this inner critic that tries to protect us from humiliation or “loss” by playing it safe, not risking anything. It’s easier not to take the chance, and more comfortable. Some of us have a “louder” voice than others. I have learned to turn the volume down on mine, but to thank it for the feedback (a Liz Gilbert suggestion).

People who succeed are often just the ones who put more stuff out there, try more things, take more chances. They are persistent, they keep making small efforts, and this builds resilience over time.  Keep working at it. You’re improving. Don’t let your inner critic win. 

cristy@meximinnesotana.com

Doing the exercises

I am a sucker for a good self-development book, especially one that is meant to help you “find your purpose” and live the life you truly want.

Sounds like a cliche, eh?

I agree.

But that is probably because the “life I want” seems to change from decade to decade. When I was in my teens, I wanted to grow up and get away from my small town where I felt confined. When I was in my 20’s after college I just wanted to earn my own money and not have to live with my parents.

When I was 30 I got divorced because what I wanted was very different from want my ex wanted. (I tried to explain I’d never wanted children when we married. He was pretty sure I would change my mind. At age 44, I am still grateful I was not “talked into that.”) I finished my graduate degree with a Master of Liberal studies focusing on Nonprofit Management, but I still did not really know what I wanted to do.

I kept reading self development books to try to figure it out. But while I read a lot, I did not often do the exercises recommended in the books. 

pivot, concise coaching, dare to lead
my desk on Sunday afternoon, while taking a break from coaching homework

In my 30’s I disintegrated some networks, I jettisoned a great job and burned bridges without a plan or a safety net. Probably not the best move. But I am resilient, and I knew I’d find *something* to earn a living Fortunately found a job I enjoyed at a very large medical device company. This path allowed me to travel to Latin America regularly, which got me to reconnect with my roots in important ways, and re-discover my enjoyment of travel.

One of my mentors told me a year ago that I needed to figure out what my definition of success is. But I told him I have already succeeded. I was making more than twice the money I thought I could earn at my age. Materially, even though we still do not own our home, I have everything I need every day. That is more wealth than most people on the planet. He said “then you have to give back.” I agree.

A nagging voice inside me says I am not working “up to my potential.” I used to hate it when my middle school teachers told me that. I graduated salutatorian of my high school class. What more did they want from me?

In retrospect, I can can see that my ability to focus on many things at once is not a detriment. Lack of focus means I had a LOT of interests. Choosing just one, or even just two, has always felt like Sophie’s Choice to me.

Emilie Wapnick
Clip of 12 min Ted Talk on multipotentialites

I am working with a coach right now who is helping me whittle this down. But I may just have to accept that I am a multi-potentialite (a term coined by Emilie Wapnick). Please watch her Ted Talk if you can relate.

For now, I am doing the exercises that my coach (and most of the self-help books I have read) have recommended. The habit of devouring books is not something I will get over any time soon. Now, I have to stop using that as a diversion and do the work, finish the exercises, and see what they reveal. Scary, no? 

cristy@meximinnesotana.com

 

 

 

Saturday Share – Brooke Castillo

Hello Peeps!

This version of the Saturday Share will be a bit different than the usual blog share. I want to give a shout-out to a podcast I have been listening to for 2 years now (though it has been around for ~4.5 years). It is called the Life Coach School podcast, hosted by Brooke Castillo.

Life coach school podcast
cribbed from the Life Coach School podcast page

Back in 2016 when I was getting a handle on my eating issues, and also cutting back on drinking, a friend recommended this show to me. Brooke has coached many women on weight loss for over 10 years, but she expanded to include many other topics over time.

Brooke gave up drinking a couple of years ago herself and had series of 3 podcasts called “stop over-drinking” which were awesome and well worth the listen.

Brooke explains how our thoughts drive our emotions, our emotions drive our actions and our actions create our results. Understanding how this works has led to many “ah ha” moments for me.  She presents a model for thought management (adapted from positive psychology and cognitive behavioral therapy) so clearly and effectively that I look forward to hearing to this weekly bit of wisdom.

Podcasts tend to come and go in my App. There are some I like (see my audio philes page) and others where I find the hosts to be annoying. Brooke Castillo can be a little much for some people. But I love the way she breaks down complex psychology topics and makes them easy to apply to daily life.

If you love podcasts and want a “life coach in your pocket” check this one out. She promotes only her coaching programs, so there’s not any unrelated annoying ad content in her shows. While I have never attended her programs live (a little out of my price range) I purchased an e-book from her a couple years ago that I enjoyed as well.

Cheers & happy weekend,

cristy@meximinnesotana.com