Be the wordless person in the world for a moment

I borrowed the above title from a line in a guided meditation and I wish I could remember which one so I can properly attribute it. Nonetheless, it reminds me that building more space into my weekly time for reflection and writing my own work is more challenging than I thought. I am seldom the wordless person. I have lots of words. And I share them freely.

new journal - be bold
My brand new journal, given to me as a Christmas gift from my mother-in-law.

When you write your “morning pages” in your journal, you are the only one who can give yourself praise for getting your work done. Social media and the clicks and likes can be an addictive little “hit” for affirmation. As a writer, I write every day no matter what. It is like oxygen for me. But I am susceptible to that buzz that comes from others receiving the work well.

I am comforted to know that there is brain chemistry and neurobiology behind this, of course. Those clicks and likes produce a little hit of dopamine in your brain, and because we are social creatures, approval is important to us at a primal level. There is nothing wrong with that, and it is very natural. Please have some compassion for yourself if you worry sometimes about what other people think. Being part of a tribe or pack was how the mammals of today survived.

As a person who loves words, and who loves the ease of publishing that blogs can offer, it is even harder for me to be the “wordless” person. I joke to my husband that this blog is my little soapbox, so that I can express my ideas freely without subjecting him to all of my opinions. 😉  So he is grateful that it exists.

Some days, I am better off going into observer mode rather than writing publicly. It reminds me of meditation, noticing what is going on in my body, and in my mind, while not attaching to it. Emotions come and go, as thoughts do. Ideas float through and sometimes I want to grab a pen. But I sit, and allow things to flow through. My ego-ic mind can be quite impressed with my thoughts sometimes. But my higher self, the watcher, just observes and allows. No thought is better than another, they just are.

Is it challenging to be the wordless person? Heck yeah, more than I ever realized.

Cheers,

cristy@meximinnesotana.com

 

Saturday Share — Was that my out loud voice?

A friend posted something on Facebook yesterday that pissed me off. Not sure if it was guilt/shame related or if my reaction was strictly oh FFS not again. This particular post was 8 Things Kids Need to Do By Themselves Before They’re 13 In fairness, these were logical tasks, nothing extraordinary in the group…but why? Why […]

via Hey Stranger, Don’t Tell Me What To Do — Was that my out loud voice?

Bryce Warden writes on topics like being a woman in midlife, and she always seems to make me laugh out loud. I also shake my head because what she says resonates even though we have different life experiences. I just had to feature her here. I hope you enjoy her writing as well. Happy weekend, friends!

cristy@meximinnesotana.com

Finding your edge

As I was sitting my evening yin yoga class on Thursday, I found myself thinking about where my “edge” was. For those of you who have not practiced yin, it involves long-held poses where you relax into a pose for typically 5-8 minutes.

Typically you just soften into a pose, where eventually you find a bit of an edge, a slight discomfort when this pose is held. This allows the fascia, or connective tissue of the body, to respond to a gentle stress. It can allow for greater flexibility and release some tightness which we often develop over time, sitting for long periods, or doing repetitive actions.

I have been practicing yin yoga for 4+ years now, and I have to admit, when I first tried it, I did not like that discomfort. I was restless. I wanted to move, to come out of it. But as I practiced, I learned to sit with the discomfort, observe it, notice how it changed and shifted even when I was very still. Now I rarely miss my yin classes twice a week, I have learned to embrace that edge, and to understand the benefits of this practice.

wbl sunset edge
Sunset at the “edge” of my day today – gorgeous

When I think about life also, I believe we have a “growth edge” in our lives. We have a place where we long to lean into it, to embrace the slight discomfort that comes from trying something new or practicing a new skill. At first, our minds resist: this feels unfamiliar! Am I doing it right? What if others laugh at me? What if I make a mistake?

These are thoughts I had when I first started going to dance in 2018. I felt very self-conscious. A 40+ year old Latina that can’t dance?!? But I moved toward that growth edge. You might say I danced toward it, and decided it was quite delightful, actually.

At work, I tried new things I had never done before. Eventually I decided to strike out on my own, leave my corporate job and make my living via freelance work. *That* is definitely the biggest “growth edge” of my past year. But all the edge means is that we feel uncomfortable at first, and our brains are new to this activity. Typically the brain protests a bit, since our primitive evolution designed us to seek comfort and pleasure and to avoid pain.

As we lean into that growth edge slightly, we find that we loosen up. We may notice things we did not realize before. We may actually *enjoy* some of the new things we try, even if they are edgy at first. We definitely learn along the way, and if we persist, we may even master some new skill, discover some new capability we did not know we had. It can be very exciting, embracing that edge. Not so that we fall off, but so we can see our world in a new way.

What is your “growth edge” for 2019? 

cristy@meximinnesotana.com

Saturday Share is back! A Year of Great Writing: The Most-Read Editors’ Picks of 2018 — Discover

From mental health to writing, these are the posts that have resonated the most with Discover readers.

via A Year of Great Writing: The Most-Read Editors’ Picks of 2018 — Discover

I am bringing back the Saturday Share! It gives me a day off writing (and I think I’ll be taking Tuesdays and Thursdays off in 2019 in order to free up some time for a bigger project).

Last weekend of the year coming up, friends! Enjoy it and make the most of it.

cristy@meximinnesotana.com

Favorite books about writing?

On Thursday I finished a book that I got for Christmas. Though I had read it before (in college, I think), I no longer had a copy of Natalie Goldberg’s Writing Down the Bones.

Goldberg-Writing.jpg

Awesome book and a lovely gift for someone like me. I realize that I have adopted some of the techniques Goldberg suggests, and I had forgotten how much I loved reading it the first time. With its short, meditative chapters, she truly captures the spirit of the act we love so well.

What are your favorite books about writing? 

cristy@meximinnesotana.com