She is HERE and Beautiful.
Every part of Her.
She is HERE and Beautiful.
Every part of Her.
A few weeks ago in my coaching sessions I uncovered a character trait I call “Mary the Martyr” who is one of the internal “voices” that sometimes interferes with imagining and manifesting my dreams.
My given name is a reference to the ultimate Christian martyr and on this Good Friday, it seems appropriate to acknowledge the role of that cosmic joke in my life, and now to evolve it in a new way. I chose Athena to represent the powerful other influence in my soul, that part of me with courage, compassion, generosity and a sense of social justice.
I like the warrior goddess image because I have always gravitated toward fierce warrior female archetypes. I love imagining this embodiment of my own qualities of standing up for my team, doing what is needed to defend my “people” whomever they happen to be. I love that courage and fierce strength. I love it that she arose as a “headache” in Zeus’ head.
My inner goddess has a disdain for patriarchal authority figures. She questions the value of hierarchy and the wisdom of keeping social structures in place that no longer serve people. She rebels against this notion of being a “good girl” and instead wants to create a bit of mayhem in order to shake up the status quo. She is a goddess of reason, and so happily, she is not completely swept up by emotion but stays even in the face of challenge.
As I consider how she will show up in my work, I imagine her ability to stay focused on the task at hand, defending the “city” (or people) and standing up courageously always. I enjoy her penchant for handicraft, which implies creativity.
Do you find it shocking that I call on a goddess to invoke the kind of wisdom and strength needed in the next phase of my life? Perhaps some might. But having finished Dance of the Dissident Daughter, I now understand the value of embodying the divine feminine in our lives. As someone raised in a Christian tradition, I saw story after story of “Father” and “Son” held up as ideal examples of ways to act, and archetypes to emulate. When it came to women, all I saw was obedience and service.
Women have been infantilized and cut off from their own divine source in this limited view of the divine. As I reclaim parts of my internal wisdom and divine soul, Athena provides an anchoring point for me to courageously battle for what I know is right. Joseph Campbell was right about the role of myth and story to our human species. His limitation was acknowledging the need for women to go beyond simply bearing children as our role in the world.
So I will channel her as I need to fight bravely, and stay centered in the battles that lay ahead.
Happy Friday, fellow warriors.
Yesterday I read a line from a book by Sue Monk Kidd’s “Dance of the Dissident Daughter” that gave me a chill. It describes something about the transition state where I am in life right now and it summed up my feeling so perfectly.
When you can’t go forward and you can’t go backward and you can’t stay where you are without killing off what is deep and vital in yourself, you are on the edge of creation (page 100).
I took a deep breath when I read those words. Yes! Yes! She is describing how I feel right now. This was the end of her chapter on “Awakening” where she describes her journey out of a patriarchal understanding of her world and her religion into something deeper and mysterious.
There are times in our life when we may recognize there is something deep and mysterious calling to us. We sense that we are less of a “fit” with our old lives, and the systems in which we play a role. We know we will make a change of radical proportions, but we seek to understand the implications in our lives.
We begin to understand that wisdom is not something “out there” that we must find, or receive from someone else. Wisdom is here, inside of us, calling to us as though from an ancient source. When we begin to access that source, it has powerful consequences.
For so long, with images of God portrayed as a masculine figure in the sky, and religions that ordain men and not women, we as women begin to shrink from our own wisdom. We forget to question how patriarchy and dominant religion are entwined. In many indigenous spiritual traditions there are divine feminine and divine masculine figures. They coexist together, yin and yang energy.
To me, that is a more natural sense of divine presence. When I feel disconnected from source, I realize I have cut off my feminine wisdom that exists within my heart and my soul. Perfectly understandable, I suppose. The culture might radically change if we honored both masculine and feminine qualities, in a divine dance, rather than always viewing one as “in charge.”
Even that very model, as a hierarchy rather than a partnership, as top-down rather than in a network form, seems artificial and constructed to me. As a scientist, always questioning what nature might reveal to us if we were to pay attention to her, I realize my spirituality is undergoing profound change. Paying attention to this inner wisdom rather than subscribing to a “Father knows best” world means taking responsibility for my life.
Nobody else can tell me where my soul needs to go. But I know at a fundamental level, paying attention to her is what I must to do honor what is deep and vital in myself. In time, she will reveal what is next. There is no hurry, but I am ready to listen.