A friend posted something on Facebook yesterday that pissed me off. Not sure if it was guilt/shame related or if my reaction was strictly oh FFS not again. This particular post was 8 Things Kids Need to Do By Themselves Before They’re 13 In fairness, these were logical tasks, nothing extraordinary in the group…but why? Why […]
Bryce Warden writes on topics like being a woman in midlife, and she always seems to make me laugh out loud. I also shake my head because what she says resonates even though we have different life experiences. I just had to feature her here. I hope you enjoy her writing as well. Happy weekend, friends!
Now that the excitement of this midterm election has come to a close, it is time to rest and digest. After all the “aerobic” energy of the campaign and election season, and as we process the results, we must enter a season of pausing and reflecting.
I am relieved this election cycle is over. Some of the returns have yet to be finalized but I am happy to see that the turnouts were high, and more women were voted into office than ever before.
Though I did not get to bed very early because I was still watching election returns, I know I will need some down time to recover this week. I identify as an introvert, so I am aware of my need for more down time than the average person. I have found that if I approach life in terms of cycles of intense activity followed by adequate rest, I am able to make better decisions for the long-term.
Maybe it is a product of age or maturity but I feel like it is easier to see the big picture than it used to be. I recognize that it is necessary to regroup and recharge between the intervals of intensity. As it turns out, this is how we best deal with stress in our lives. Stress in itself is not bad, and is in fact necessary in a healthy life.
But chronic and unrelenting stress for long periods take a toll on our bodies, our immune systems and our mental health as well. So take a break, gather your energy, allow some time for reflection and recovery. We will live and be stronger in case we need to “fight” another day for important causes that matter to us.
I write this reflection with a feeling of edginess in my body, and unresolved tension in my throat and my heart related to recent political events.
The confirmation of Justice Kavanaugh feels like yet another assault on women. I realize that the circumstances surrounding the testimony of Professor Ford had some unconfirmed facts. But it haunts me to know that our political and legal systems have added to the most important court in our nation someone who’s character I would deem unfit for this appointment.
My question now involves what my role will be in the next election, and in future political activities. I know that until we have a shift in power, and more women and others who are underrepresented in this process, we will continue to fall short of the ideals of this nation.
Years ago I was very active in electoral politics. I volunteered with campaigns, managed a winning city council campaign, and I engaged in phone calling and door-to-door voter outreach. This is despite my introvert preference to do the “quieter” types of activism, that do not involve meeting large numbers of new people.
In an earlier era of my life, I felt a sense of urgency in my activities. While I still feel urgency in some ways, my activism may take another form this time around. I went back to my master’s thesis on “Mythical Condensation in Electoral Politics” completed in 2006 to review some of the ideas I had then about what is happening today.
Much of it still rings true, particularly on the polarizing effects of our political discourse today:
I argue that political candidate success is a function of mythic condensation or voter consumerism rather than issue positions or leadership competence.
Yes. Today, more than ever these concepts apply to the political realm. Back in those days I used discourse analysis and drew from the disciplines of linguistics, social psychology, media studies and political science to make my argument.
The 40-page document took a great deal of effort for me to “birth” at the time. But I look back fondly at having the privilege to think and write that analysis. Myth and metaphor continue to be relevant in how we construct our political truths. We use cognitive frames to interpret the world while conveniently ignoring facts.
Neuroscience explains how our choice of language shapes our beliefs. And myths “naturalize” what is historical artifact. Rhetoric and imagery appeal to our emotions, while realities are constructed of symbolism in which polarities seem to thrive.
For now, my question of what I will do in this final month before the next election remains unresolved. The edginess remains.
Reader Warning: the following blog contains profanity and may not be suitable for young audiences. I will try to keep it to a minimum. Or maybe I am just not able to do that. So f*ck it.
My first response to reading Christine Blasey Ford’s opening statement (from a post at NPR News) to the Senate is: WHAT THE F*CK?!?
I have a strong sense of deja-vu in learning her story. This is a reputable woman who has much to lose by coming forward. I admire her courage deeply. She reminds me so much of Anita Hill, and of course the story echoes in all consciousness of women everywhere.
The #MeToo movement happened because way too many women have suffered either sexual assault and some point in their lives or sexual harassment in the workplace.
This has got to STOP.
Apparently Americans are divided along gender lines about whether they believe Dr. Ford or Judge Kavanaugh, based on polls conducted Sept 22 to 24. But I am pretty convinced that when her public statement is read, and people learn her story, that attitude may shift.
Dr. Christine Blasey Ford has two Master’s degrees and a PhD. From her background and the context of her story, it is clear she has absolutely nothing to gain from coming forward with her story. The reason she came forward (and did so anonymously at first) was she felt like it was her civic duty.
Indeed, we must expect exemplary behavior from our Supreme Court Justices, or anyone in a position of such importance. Character is clearly an important part of the selection process, or one would hope the Senate would have that opinion.
What I am hearing from some of the Senators during the questioning process really disturbs me. One of them seemed to imply that a little “innocent” fun when men are teenagers is nothing that should derail someone’s career.
When will the “boys will be boys” excuse going away? And what is the impact if we dismiss this type of behavior, to someone who denies it and never apologized nor saw it as wrong?T hat is when I lost it and started screaming at my radio! What happened to Dr. Ford is was not innocent fun. It was a near rape. It was sexual assault. What will it say to teenage boys in the world and world if we call that a little “innocent fun?” Wow. No. Just NO! On so many levels.
Unfortunately I didn’t note the name of the Senator who asked that particular question. I would cite it here. Shame on him. What is clear to me is the role of male privilege in our power structures. Women are done with this. An unprecedented number of women have filed to run for office in 2018, 390 for the House of Representatives. This is not unrelated to the election of a “harasser in chief” who does not even deserve the title of President.
Anita Hill suffered and fortunately recovered and was able to go on to become a professor of sociology, law and gender studies at Brandeis. Hill believes that the current hearing cannot be “fair and thorough” and she told NPR that the hearing cannot provide enough information to reach a conclusion.
Where will we end up in the process of these hearings?
This remains to be seen.
What I know is that we need to denounce this kind of behavior. Unequivocally, and no matter what the result is of any investigation. We cannot say or even imply that this behavior is acceptable. Ever.
This post is a re-blog of an original I wrote in December, 2017, with some editing. On Thursdays I aim to review and edit some previously shared content to give myself more practice on the editing side. Thanks for your patience as I build my skills and allow myself to re-examine some favorite themes.
After my peaceful and grateful post yesterday, I dove into a few blogs based on some recommendations by WordPress. I read about women as superheroes, and encountered some powerful writing about racism and privilege in America. It hit me pretty hard, but the point landed, this idea that white people of this country built their foundation on treating black people as sub-human.
It is difficult to talk about this, to acknowledge it and to understand what it is like to be cast as the “other” when we are part of the dominant culture. As a pale Latina, I pass as white every day. And yet, part of me strongly identifies with this Otherness. When Philando Castile was killed in Falcon Heights, Minnesota in July 2016, I was in shock. This is not supposed to happen here, I thought.
But it happens everywhere. People are mistreated merely because of their darker skin or for their gender. Assumptions are made, and are reinforced. Political campaigns barely veil their “dog whistles” that appeal to the base, racist beliefs of their base.
There is a powerful dialogue from On Being with Krista Tippet, with Junot Diaz that keeps coming back to me on Radical Hope. One passage that keeps coming back to me as an empowering framework for re-considering how we view the body.
“I would remind us that, coming from a reality where our oppression was ineluctably linked to our bodies — that we had, for centuries, no rights to our bodies and that all of the traditional pleasures and all of the traditional freedoms of human agency were forbidden to those of us of African descent in the New World, for a long period of time — the body, in such a murderous regime, under such nightmarish conditions, becomes chapel, cathedral, dogma. It becomes nearly everything…
…for people like us, for people who come out of the African Diaspora in the New World, simply to fall in love, when you have historically been denied love, the right to just connect to the body which you have chosen and that has chosen you, means that an act of love is not only revolutionary, it’s not only transcendent, but it is the deific. It is Godlike. It is a taste of the omnipotent.”
I see parallels here in how slave ownership reflects a framework in which ownership of the body is central. It is a means of control and it is a means of denying basic humanity to people based on color.
I also see the ownership of body as a tool from a woman’s perspective and a feminist one. From our cultural lens, we have transcended a period when it was legal to own the bodies of African Americans. I also recently learned that early in our history, the practice of enslaving Native Americans occurred though was not explicitly legalized in the same way. (Listen to Hidden Brain’s “An American Secret” to learn more.)
Conceptually, I believe our patriarchy claims “ownership” of women’s bodies in a similar but more subtle way. Through creating laws to regulate women’s health, and their choices and ownership over their decisions about their bodies, we legalize yet another form of slavery. By judging appearance and “scoring” women on a scales of beauty or attractiveness, our media participate in this denigration of women’s bodies.
Recent disclosures of male authority figures using coercion and manipulation of women’s bodies against their will has shown the pervasiveness of this idea: women are routinely denied full access and ownership to their bodies. Women are “owned” and traded, consumed and marketed as commodities, products, objects that can be served up at will.
As I have come to a better relationship with my own body in my yoga and meditation practices, I now see how “radical” it is to reclaim our bodies. For those women (or men) who have endured assault or other violations of the body, there can be a numbness or a disassociation with parts of ourselves. Even for those of us who have not endured physical violence, the objectification of women’s bodies in so much of our daily media have taken their toll.
We disown parts of ourselves, perhaps our hunger, or our sexuality, as an attempt to distance ourselves from what is portrayed as dirty or distasteful. This is not a coincidence, nor is it a benign reality. Listening and attending to our bodies is a powerful tool. Disconnecting from the body separates us from our truth.
Churches that advise us to transcend the “carnal” and embrace the spiritual do us a disservice. For when we separate the body from the spirit or the soul, we disconnect what makes us whole as people. Sadly, this is more of a lived reality for women than for men in our current ethos.
What I would like to suggest is a radical and necessary step is for women to reclaim ownership of our bodies, in both real and symbolic ways. I see this not only as a personal and a wellness imperative, but as a political act. This is certainly not a new idea. Back in the 60’s and 70’s when the women’s liberation movement was at its height, this was certainly one of the goals.
Even my own personal weight struggle has been a process of coming to terms with loving and appreciating my own body. I recognize the ways in which I appropriated the body hatred that was rampant around me. It is a bad habit, this criticism of our body, diminishing the instrument of joy we have been given. But it is a habit that can be changed. Accepting and embracing our bodies and our feelings is a tool for empowerment. It is the place we must begin for full political and personal agency.
I just love this beautiful poem in the intro to the book “Coming Home to Myself” by Marion Woodman and Jill Mellick. Since they encourage the photocopy or transcription of pieces that carry meaning for us, I am sharing with grateful permission.
Linearity does not come naturally
to me. It kills my imagination.
No bell rings
No moment of here and now.
No moment that says yes.
Without these, I am not alive.
I prefer the pleasure
of the journey through the spiral.
Enjoy the spiral.
If you miss something
on the first round,
You might pick it up
on the second – or third – or ninth.
It doesn’t matter.
Timing is everything.
If this bell does ring,
it will resonate
through all the rungs of your spiral.
If it doesn’t ring,
it is the wrong spiral –
or the wrong time –
or there is no bell.
Wow. This resonated in my body and my mind. Maybe it does for you also?