Category: mental health

How the World sometimes Turns

~ meximinnesotana ~ Leave a comment

Hi Friends,

I spent some time licking my wounds last week and realizing that the opportunity I had been vying for probably wasn’t the right fit. But I responded with my real opinions this morning when the employer asked for feedback. Who knows if a human reads those things. Probably an “AI” is scraping the data. Oh well.

Only a few days after I received the pee test news I was offered an opportunity to coach a BIPOC and/or junior staff cohort at an organization who’s values are highly aligned with mine. Until we are signed and fully contracted I am going to hold off mentioning them here. The hourly rate is 15+ times what I was offered at the job where I was turned down. And thus, I will continue my “irrational” pursuit of self-employment while further developing affordable somatics and stress-relief opportunities and group mentoring.

The YouTube 1 minute video of a woman standing up for her land and her country.

There is a lot of heavy energy in the world right now, and not getting a part-time job is the least my worries as people in the Ukraine are being attacked. I was humbled to realize how lucky and privileged I am sitting safely at home, while others cope with unbridled tyranny on the other side of the planet. But I’ve also been so heartened to see how many people around the world are doing everything they can to help.

If you have not seen the video of the woman speaking to the soldiers about the sunflower seeds she wants them to carry in their pockets, it is worth seeing. Talk about “escalating” the situation. This is what courage looks like, unless the captioning is wrong (I don’t speak the language).

Last year I worked with a group called Fight for Right Ukraine while I was part of team facilitation cohorts for The Medici Group. They were a tiny but scrappy and resourceful team and I was greatly impressed with their creativity and their amazing resolve to find ways to grow their network of disability rights activists. I donated to a GoFundMe campaign (in Euros) because I know how hard they were working, and I believe this group has already made change legislatively and practically. In case you are feeling helpless and might want to make a small gift, I know the funds would be well-stewarded.

Be well,

Cristy

P.S. If you need a song to help bolster your personal Resilience, I’ve been playing this one by Rising Appalacia over and over again. The shorter video version still brings tears to my eyes. In case you need a small lift from the heavy energy this is something that has helped me to stay focused on the helpers in the world. I believe we are still are in the majority.

On Ableism, Pee Tests and Automated Systems

~ meximinnesotana ~ Leave a comment

About a month ago I got a job offer from retail company to work for 12-20 hours a week in customer service. I was excited for the offer. It’s a store where I love browsing. And I wanted a part time job where I can leave the house three days a week, if at all possible. During the interview, I learned shifts would be 4-6.5 hours. Perfect.

From the time I submitted the resume and cover letter online, it was only two days until the interview. Then two later I inteviewed in person (masked) at the Bloomington Store. Later that afternoon after the in person interview I received the verbal and written offer, contigent on a background check and and a drug screen.

Of course these checks were totally totally expected.

However, it made me nervous when I went into LabCorp a few days later to submit my pee sample. I asked the attendant about the prescription that I take for focus which typically triggers the “positive test” warning. The attendant reassured me: oh, there’s a database, they can look you up there. I frowned, because I’m pretty sure this is not true. But I didn’t want to rock the boat at this early stage.

Three other times over the last 15 years when I had to submit to pee tests for employment purposes, I received a call from the lab. I was able to give them a prescription number and a pharmacy name so they could verify. No problem. Verification done. Not an issue.

(Side note: my nurse practitioner collects labs annually, to verify I’m not giving my medicine to someone other than me. Fair enough. I get it. And since I do this during my wellness visit, it’s not inconvenient.)

This time around, it was strange because I heard nothing for a few weeks. I began to wonder so I reached out to the recruiter a few weeks in. She told me she hadn’t heard back yet about the background check (they typically run these for cash-handling positions, and I get that). Okay, let’s wait a week or two more.

Last week she called again to say she was escalating the request and she apologized for the delay. I know she’s got full time employees to prioritize. Someone who works only 12-20 hours a week is not their priority. And they know from my cover letter that I’m self-employed and want a part-time job in order to supplement income that can ebb and flow seasonally.

When I received an automated rejection notice informing me that, “At this time, the results of one or both of these do not meet the COMPANY hiring standards. Consequently, we will no longer be moving forward with your offer of employment.” (I am leaving the company unnamed here because I hope the recruiter might make things right.)

What?!? Seriously?!?

Photo from Zymo Research (not the company that tested me)

I asked for a copy of the report to see what it contained. The company was able to send the report within two hours by email, thankfully.

Criminal background check: completely blank. Drug screen: red. Flagged for my focus medicine, which I have been taking for 17 years. (Side note: today it’s a lower dose than it was in my 30’s, because I’ve figured out nutritional and exercise interventions to feed my brain better). I called the background company again and they gave me the phone number of the Medical Review Officer (MRO) so I could report the prescription.

This MRO/service person was extremely kind on the phone and when I explained what happened he noted that they didn’t receive my contact information from the lab submitting the sample to them. So they were unable to contact me in order to verify the prescription number or pharmacy. He took down my scrip number and pharmacy information and told me that he would report back to the screening company.

This morning I received an identical second email message rejecting me for not meeting the standards of unnamed retailer. I have to admit, the second rejection email stung even more than the first.

Seriously?!?

I have no other way of knowing if some other employment verification information got messed up or if it’s still rejected because of the red flag on the substance screen. Did a human even look at the updated record? I have no way to know. Since I don’t have a criminal record, there might be something else lurking that I don’t know. And the recruiter claims she was not told by the screening company what was in the record that was of concern. So perhaps there is nothing she can do.

I have other opportunities coming up to work on projects that are more “in my wheelhouse” in terms of coaching and mentoring young leaders for another organization that is more in line with my values. So I don’t plan to spend a lot of time fighting this issue. However, if this is happening to me, I know I’m not the first person with a “hidden disability” to have this issue. Some day I will make use of this story when I speak to companies about inclusive design. This feels like the opposite of that.

Be well, Amigos.

Delightful nourishment

~ meximinnesotana ~ 4 Comments

Happy 2022, dear friends!

Are you anticipating new projects on the horizon? I am excited to consider a few creative intentions for the year. I’m not one to make resolutions but I see intentions as a helpful guiding compass for any new period of time that feels right.

Typically I set intentions each month, around the new moon, which tends to be an energetic cycle of contemplation for me. This month and year what kept coming forward was a combination of two of the core desired feelings I set as intentions back in July (which is what I think of as the beginning of my “fiscal” year).

Delightful nourishment (in noun form)

Delightfully nourishing (the adverb)

Playing with those terms a bit, I wanted to phrase that in a way that makes sense in a “quantum question” type of format. Here’s my idea:

In what ways can I create assets that are delightfully nourishing for myself, my husband, my clients and my business?

After creating my first book in the past year (though I’m still anxiously awaiting the paperback proof due to me this week) I considered all of the joy and love that went into that creation. While it was difficult at times to keep going, especially during the editing phase, overall the process was delightful nourishment for my soul. For much of the process, I devoted just an hour a day to the project, but as it kept moving forward and taking shape, it was enormously satisfying.

The shadow side of that process is that since late last summer, I’ve noticed slight but steady weight gain. Only about a pound or so per month, but it is a contrast to the first 4 months of the project, when I seemed to have some effortless weight loss. It was though I was being “fed” by my creativity. With my training as a yoga teacher, and my emphasis on somatic wisdom in the book, I feel somewhat sheepish at admitting this, but it feels related.

The pure joy of creating a draft and working with words is delightful nourishment to me. And the process of thinking about how my work will go out into the world, speculating how it will be received is another matter. It seemed to bring up all my past demons with food as a way to dull difficult emotions. It probably didn’t help that the pandemic uncertainty and anxiety about contracts and jobs also came up.

I find the beauty of sunrise to be delightfully nourishing, especially when I take the time to appreciate it.

Rather than chastise myself about this, though, I am bringing self-compassion to my struggle. It can feel so vulnerable to bring our work out into the world. So much so that many people have manuscripts in drawers, and many never share their gifts.

Overeating is never delightful nourishment. It can be subtle and tenacious though. This year I want to turn to forms of spiritual nourishment instead of food, like writing, abhyanga (Ayurvedic oiling), reading delicious literature, walking in nature, drinking in the beauty around me, being present with my loved ones, and creating more books, or maybe a podcast. All of these activities feel delightfully nourishing to me.

What kinds of delightful nourishment are you planning for yourself in 2022?

Bracing myself

~ meximinnesotana ~ 4 Comments

After the announcement of Biden’s pick for VP, Senator Kamala Harris, I spent some time perusing social media and the interwebs for the chatter. I’ve been waiting for a MONTH for this announcement and my first thought was: FINALLY, the decision is made.

Harris is a great candidate. I was a fan of Elizabeth Warren and was disappointed when she had dropped out of her bid for President. I had not paid attention to the other candidates as much, so I did some research and read some opinion pieces.

First woman VP Kamala Harris
Photo credit link: Politico

I found myself going to the fridge multiple times, getting ice cream and then wanting to snack. Typically when I do this, it means something is “up” emotionally – like anxiety, boredom or some other troubling emotion. I realized I was bracing myself for the inevitable misogyny and harsh judgement that always happens toward ambitious women.

Indeed some articles had this tone. And of course the harasser-in-chief called her “nasty” to Joe Biden, which is a typical way that he demeans women, so that wasn’t surprising. I started wishing for a “Nasty Women Get Sh*t Done” t-shirt or something…

Once I realized my own anxiety on behalf Harris, I slowed myself down and asked what I was feeling. Sometimes those us of with high empathy skills take on too many emotions that are not “ours.” So I calmed down, got out my laptop, and started writing. At least writing is a distraction from the misogyny, and a way I process emotion (healthier than overindulging on food).

I am excited for the choice and the fact that  Kamala Harris brings a wealth of experience and also a new perspective to the highest office in this country. I was very unenthusiastic about Biden’s campaign until I heard he had pledged to select a highly qualified woman to be his running mate.

Now I find myself grateful for my yoga training and taking deep breaths. I hope this team can defeat the menace that occupies the office at this time. If Americans cannot see how much we reap what we sow, we deserve to go down in flames.

***

cristy@meximinnesotana.com

 

 

 

 

 

Physical distancing plus presence

~ meximinnesotana ~ 1 Comment

Social distancing is a misnomer. What we really need is physical distancing with social presence. Community is important for mental health. Yeah, you could watch You-Tube videos, but you’d miss out on the experience of practicing with actual people. There is power in presence, even when it is virtual.

Physical distancing and presence

Yep, more shameless self-promotion. Hard to believe I live in Minnesota, no? 😉

Cheers,

cristy@meximinnesotana.com

P.S. If you want to participate but are low on funds, email me and I will send you a Zoom link for a class of your choice. Your presence is important and we would love for you to join us!