Ice breaker speech – done!

How many of you on my readership list are current or former members of a Toastmasters club?

I am curious, because if you are, you will know what an “ice breaker speech” is intended to do. It is a way of introducing yourself to the club in a 5-7 minute speech, and helping them to get to know you better.

Whenever I have to speak on a topic for which I have expertise, I feel comfortable. It is harder to give a speech about myself, because it feels more vulnerable and personal. However, after practicing using the voice recorder on my phone in the morning before the speech, I delivered in a way that felt authentic.

My main purpose was to explain the reasons I joined Toastmasters and give them some insight about my motivations, values and goals. I used the term “white Mexican” to describe how I see the world. I was pleased that I got great feedback on the speech and the evaluator thought I used humor, eye contact and gestures very effectively in the speech.

All in all, I am happy to be done with that one. I was not able to write out the speech or even put together an outline. I like to speak a bit more extemporaneously but somehow I found the words I needed by staying present and focused. I am grateful that it is a very kind an encouraging group, so I am looking forward to growing alongside the as we practice our public speaking, evaluation and leadership skills.

Thanks to all of you who encouraged me as I struggled with procrastination. I felt a huge surge of energy after this project was completed. I know the next one will go much better! The ice is broken!

ice broken
Photo credit link

Happy Spring!

cristy@meximinnesotana.com

 

What gets in the way?

What gets in the way of telling people that you love them?

Not just partners, spouses and friends, but people all around you.

Last year, I kept having an urge to send Valentine cards to my coworkers and employees. But I knew that most people would find that corny.

Why would an operational manager at a large corporation send cards to her employees? Don’t people grow out of that in the 4th grade?

Yup.

What gets in the way of showing loveThat’s what held me back. I was afraid to be perceived as corny, even though I truly grew to love those that worked with me (in an “agape” sense, not a romantic one).

It’s probably very uncool to love your employees.

That is me, totally uncool.

The more I think about it, the more I am proud of that fact. I believe in a model of “servant leadership” in which the person who leads is actually in service to the people they lead.

Very uncool.

And yet, I think it is the most effective way to lead people. To love them, to witness them grow, to help them attain their career goals… that was what made me effective in my previous role.

The clients I serve now? I love them too. Not in a creepy way. But in a way that shows how much I value them as capable individuals, striving toward growth and excellence. We often have similar insecurities. We are all in this together.

Never again will I let the fear of being “corny” get in the way of my ability to show love for people I value. A resolution for today and for the future. Life is too short to hold back.

Happy Valentine’s Day, beloved readers.

cristy@meximinnesota.com

Sunday haiku – movement joy

To move your Body.

Yoga. Dance. Slow or sassy.

So much Freedom here.

Movement Joy
Had so much fun on February 9th! I will probably go next month too! Sign up here

I am not receiving anything to promote these workshops. I just do it because I am realizing my love for yoga, dance and movement as a way to express pure joy. 

cristy@meximinnesotana.com

Be present and joyful – thanks to a dear friend

A dear friend passed away this week at age 52. Some friends who knew him gathered on Thursday night over dinner to remember the impact he had on our lives. We told stories and laughed about things he had said and the “larger than life” presence he inhabited. I know he would appreciate us coming together, especially because he seemed to create community wherever he went. He was a giving, loving and kind person. He was known to make a ruckus for a cause, and he didn’t shy away from sharing his opinion on politics.

He leaves behind three children in their 20’s and my heart aches for them right now. It also makes me realize I need to be present with my own family, and not to take for granted the time I have with them.

Randy, thanks for teaching us the value of being present and sharing joy with those around us. Your presence and spirit will stay strong among us and we are grateful for the way you walked (and ran) through our lives.

Peace and love,

cristy@meximinnesotana.com

TBT – Do you have a few minutes?

***This edited blog was originally posted in February 2018***

When we get to February I always feel a surge of optimism. Spring is not so far away now, and those of us who get a little “cabin fever” this time of the year start noticing more light in the evenings.

In February of 2017 I started a habit of daily meditation. I had meditated before that occasionally. But last year, I committed to a minimum of 5 minutes per day. It was a do-able goal, and I count my yoga sessions as part of my practice, so with 3 classes a week, that made the goal easier as well. In February of 2019 I will celebrate 2 years of daily meditation.

It has changed my life, particularly since I have struggled with a.d.d. in the past. Meditation has helped me calm my mind and become less reactive to the “bouncing” thoughts. I can observe them and not follow them. I notice when I am caught in a story that I am spinning, and start to question whether that is even true. I hold less judgment about my mind, and more curiosity.

To those who have been thinking about starting a practice, I encourage you to start small. Literally commit to only 2 minutes the first time, focus on your breathing. It may not be easy at first! Add a minute a day, and see how this changes the quality of your days overall. It may take a few weeks before you really start to notice benefits, so give it at least 30 days.

zen flower
Photo credit link

People used to tell me I needed to have at least 15 minutes. That was a barrier. I could not imagine how I would fit that in every day. Now I average a lot more than that. It is not always easy, and sometimes I feel “too restless” to want to do it. But those are the times I am most likely to benefit, I now realize.

Last fall I read Altered Traits: Science Reveals How Meditation Changes Your Mind, Brain and Body (Goleman and Davidson). For a clinical researcher, I loved learning about experiments, past and present to demonstrate the value of meditation. The authors actually critique some of their early studies, the bias and the lack of proper controls. They review the field and conclude that, even with some flawed studies in the beginning, reliable science is beginning to emerge on the benefits of meditation.

If silent meditation is not your cup of tea, there are many guided meditations available at the Insight Timer app that I use. Jon Kabat Zinn has a book called Mindfulness for Beginners with some guided meditations that I really like also. Another resource that was great for me about 2 years ago when I first wanted to commit to practice was Mindfulness: An Eight-Week Plan for Finding Peace in a Frantic World.

For those of you who have a regular practice, I would love to hear how you got started. As I like to say about sleep, doing more of it is like a super-power! If only I had known when I was younger. I know now. So I will continue to encourage people to try it, and see what works for them.

cristy@meximinnesotana.com

 

 

 

Personal vs professional – erasing my border wall

I used to strive mightily to keep my personal and professional identities separate and somewhat walled off from each other. I realize now I did that out of fear, and related to a memory of a former boss using my personal life against me in my professional world.

It caused me to contract and curl up, to hide, to protect myself, and to lose trust. To be fair, I had been using some passive aggressive tactics to communicate my distress about my workload. Lesson learned, thank you EAP counselor who helped me become more proactive about that.

These days I have less desire to hide and protect myself, because I focus on how I can be of service to my clients, in my little corner of the world. That requires courage and a willingness to fail, to feel embarrassed, to try again.

I am the person I am. I have strengths, I have flaws. I never do everything (or anything) perfectly. And yet: I still believe I have gifts to offer. Brené Brown advises us to step into the arena anyway, knowing that we are going to get knocked down a few times.

As a result of stepping forward, and getting pummeled a bit, we build our resilience over time. We learn that each and every action will teach us. Each attempt builds our resilience, even if it does not turn out as we anticipated. Failing is only truly devastating if we do not learn from our experiences, our missteps and our decisions.

My new conviction, which feels much more deep and embodied, is to integrate my life, not to divide it. Sometimes this is really scary, and I do not like that “bottom dropping out of my stomach” feeling, like a roller-coaster the first time we ride it.

It is unfamiliar, this risk of revealing more of who I truly am. But in service to the goal of also inviting others to fully show up as who they are, it is worth it.

cristy@meximinnesotana.com

biz card image
My mini biz cards arrived from Moo today! They are adorable, with 4 different backgrounds. I blocked out the phone & contact info because I get so many random phone calls, I don’t want the bots to target me. 😉