New book I’m reading:
On Emotional Labor
New book I’m reading:
On Emotional Labor
This week I am going a little “light” on the writing. I am preparing for YTT weekend number 5, and trying to get set up for a good experience.
I read an article from Gallup New entitled: Your Boss Could Be Bad — or Good — for your Health. I decided I really must share it, because Gallup is reputable organization that does good and validated research. Someday maybe toxic workplaces will be considered a public health risk.
This article focuses on the value of trust in workplaces. This is something I always want to promote, trust and trust-worthiness among my teams and colleagues. The Gallup article explains why.
If you are not working in a place that feels safe, and that values your strengths, consider working with a coach to help you find alternatives to your current situation. My own coach (Elizabeth) helped me see how my values need to be represented in my work setting in order to feel fulfilled each day.
Wow, am I ever glad she was there to help me articulate those ideas in a new way. It has helped me see what I need to feel happy and well.
Have a wonderful “hump” day! Enjoy the midweek and mid-summer.
This week is our Independence Day holiday. I’ll be taking a long weekend up north to celebrate with family and take a long weekend break. So I have decided to take a holiday on writing here as well. My advice to you is to do the same.
If you are able to take a break, or take a vacation this summer, make the most of it. Whether you get some extra rest, enjoy some quality time with people you love or perhaps get out to see some fireworks, appreciate these fine summer days. Have a safe and happy weekend!
One of the biggest drivers of employee engagement is having someone who you consider a good friend (or sometimes best friend) at work.
Or at least that’s what I used to read about when I was an operational manager at Medtronic. I was a little skeptical. But I think I understand what all those employee engagement surveys are trying to say:
It is important to have colleagues that you trust at work, people who may, over time, become friends. I certainly felt like I had a lot of friends at Medtronic. It’s one reason why it was so hard for me to leave.
At the University, I am only 2.5 weeks in. I feel like I have a lot of “potential” friends, and people who share common interests. It takes time to form relationships. I am not expecting to adopt a bestie right away. It might take 6-12 months before I find out who my real friends are. People tend to be polite in Minnesota, and it’s not always easy to discern who is a true friend.
Also I sometimes encounter people who are excessively concerned with titles and prestige, so they are likely to wait it out a bit before being too warm and friendly. As a “newbie” in this organization, I don’t have networks yet. I am untested, though my boss told me that the people I had met so far gave her positive feedback about the impression they had from our first meetings. So I will count that as a win.
In any case, I think I am fairly good connecting people and ideas. But like anything, I am being patient with it, since I know that every work place culture is different. I am confident that all of this will shake out eventually.
Back to the mantra I used a couple of weeks ago: You have time. 🙂
Happy Wednesday, friends!
The following is an edited post from August 2018 originally entitled “Wellness Wednesday – Ask for help.” Since I am in the second week of my new job, it seems like a good reminder to myself!
Do you find it hard to ask for help?
I confess that this is something I am still need to practice. I was taught very well to always be helpful. But I did not often ask for help. And it can take me time to admit to myself when I need help, and to ask and receive it.
But asking for help can be a way to honor other people and allow them to connect with us in a meaningful way. Once I started thinking of it this way, it seemed that asking for help is actually like giving someone a gift.
When we ask for help we indicate that we trust and respect another person. We express our belief in their capability. Most of the time, people who can help us are happy to help us. Think about the last time you responded to a request. Did you feel good about helping? Most of us do. (Unless the request is unreasonable or feels imposed, but that is another scenario).
It can feel vulnerable to ask for help. We must admit we don’t have it all together, or we do not know something. I am starting to get over this as I realize we all need help from time to time. There is no shame in it, and potentially we deepen the connections in our relationships.
Sometimes we worry that if we ask, a person will say no and reject the request. I have found that if I ask sincerely and from a place of gratitude, more often than not, I receive help. It helps to be specific about the request and to always thank the giver.
I also learned that asking out loud is a better option than mentally projecting your requests to someone. This is truly OBVIOUS. And sometimes I have made the mistake of assuming others (like my husband) could read my mind and would know what I wanted. Nope. We must use our words, and express requests out loud. I realize not everyone here has grown up in passive-aggressive Minnesota where this tends not to be modeled.
Perhaps we want to stubbornly do things ourselves, and we feel a sense of failure if we ask for help. Perhaps we were taught that strong and capable people do not need help, or this is the message we absorbed in our youth. In any case, it is time let go of our fear and to embrace a new belief and a new practice!
Graciously asking for and receiving help is a practice that can enhance our relationships and allow us to focus on our strengths. If you are new to it, take it in stages, and start small. You may be surprised at what you discover and how much more capable you feel by inviting your community to be part of your success.
Next time you are struggling, know you are not alone. Use it as an invitation to ask a coworker for what you need or want. Be brave, and be thankful. We do not have to go it alone.
I am just coming out of my first two days at my new job, meeting people and learning more about what I have signed up to accomplish. It is exciting and exhilarating.
It is also like one of my colleagues described it, “like drinking water from a fire hose.” There are a lot of new concepts to absorb, and research units to understand, training to complete, and meetings to schedule.
Over the lunch hour, I attended a session from the Office of the VP for Research on Vulnerable Populations. It was a fascinating look at the fact that researchers sometimes take a paternalistic perspective to protect research participants. But we do not always consider the injustice of excluding certain types of candidates for research, and how this may actually deny treatment alternatives.
Fascinating stuff. I can tell this job is going to challenge my thinking and open me up to new perspectives. I love that.
I also know that by the end of the day, around 4:45 p.m. after two full days of meetings, and a mini-celebration dinner with friends for my birthday on Monday, I was wiped. My brain felt worked and tired.
I considered pushing through and working longer. Then I opened my journal and opted for a short reflection on the day, old-fashioned pen and paper style. It helped clarify my thoughts and questions.
On the 12 minute walk to my car to begin the commute home, I considered what might be a helpful mantra, given a slight feeling of being overwhelmed by expectations. Ultimately I decided on “you have time.”
–You have time to learn the new job (and it is okay that you don’t know everything you need to know/do in the first couple days)
–You have time to get to know the department.
–You have time to map out a strategy and plan.
–You have time to absorb the information you need. You were hired because of your expertise, experience and capabilities, not because you know everything.
–You have time to enlist the support you need to be successful.
After a few minutes of deep breathing and chanting this simple mantra to myself, it started to resonate in my body. I felt that familiar relaxation response, when my mind starts to believe what I am “feeding” it via conscious thoughts, and my body lets go of anxiety.
The next time you find yourself flipping into a mental script has you feeling overwhelmed, you might tell yourself that “you have time.” See what effect it has on your body, and your feelings. You have time.