Wellness Wednesday – Ask for help

Do you find it hard to ask for help? 

I confess that this is something I am still need to practice. I was taught very well to always be helpful. But I did not often ask for help. And it still takes me time to admit to myself when I need help, and to ask and receive it.

But asking for help can be a way to honor other people and allow them to connect with us in a meaningful way. Once I started thinking of it this way, it seemed that asking for help is actually like giving someone a gift. 

When we ask for help we indicate that we trust and respect another person. We express our belief in their capability. Most of the time, people who can help us are happy to help us. Think about the last time you responded to a request. Did you feel good about helping? Most of us do. (Unless the request is unreasonable or feels imposed, but that is another scenario).

help
Photo credit link

To me it can feel vulnerable to ask for help. I must admit I don’t have it all together, or I do not know something, or maybe I am not as organized as I want to be. But I am starting to get over this as I realize we all need help from time to time. There is no shame in it, and potentially we deepen the connections in our relationships.

Sometimes I worry that if I ask, a person will say no and reject the request. But surprisingly, if I ask sincerely and from a place of gratitude, more often than not, I receive help. It helps to be specific about the request and to always thank the giver.

I also learned that asking out loud is a better option than mentally projecting your requests to someone. This is truly OBVIOUS but I sometimes made the mistake of assuming others (like my husband) could read my mind and would know what I wanted. Nope. We use our words, and our out-loud voices for this. I realize not everyone here has grown up in passive-aggressive Minnesota where this tends not to be modeled.

Perhaps we want to stubbornly do things ourselves, and we feel a sense of failure if we ask for help. Perhaps we were taught that strong and capable people do not need help, or this is the message we absorbed in our youth. In any case, it is time let go of our fear and to embrace a new belief and a new practice!

Graciously asking for and receiving help is a practice that can enhance our relationships and allow us to focus on our strengths. If you are new to it, take it in stages, and start small. You may be surprised at what you discover and how much more capable you feel by inviting your community to be part of your success.

Next time you are struggling, know you are not alone. Use it as an invitation to ask a friend or loved one for what you need or want. Be brave, and be thankful. We do not have to go it alone.

cristy@meximinnesota.com

 

 

Wanted: women’s voices

I had a blast on the 4th of July holiday catching up on my personal development “input sources” and reading more materials that fascinate me.

I began the day giving a ride to downtown Minneapolis for my hubby and his friend, who were running the Red, White & Boom 5k. They rocked it, despite hot and soupy weather. After that, while hubby was taking a well-deserved nap, I used time to listen to the Gallup “Called to Coach” podcast and a few others.

It was interesting to hear more in depth about the Gallup Strengths profiles. I have done many exercises with my team using this tool, to figure out how we can merge our strengths together to be a more effective team. My own brand of strengths includes Intellection, Input, Relator, Developer and Empathy. Those terms may seem a little strange if you are not familiar with their tool, but I highly recommend the assessment if you have not yet taken it.

women's voices
Photo credit link – Metal female voices fest XI – 2013

The downside of this particular listen-fest was the fact that I noticed that ALL the voices I heard on the podcast were men. ALL of them. 100% of them… I mean, after listening to the 5 themes and interviews, I would have thought at least ONE of them would feature a woman. Maybe just 20%. I realize there are less women in positions of leadership than there are men. Even the U.S. Congress has roughly 20% women in its ranks.

I realize it was content from 2014-2015. Perhaps their more recent content is more balanced, and I should give them the benefit of the doubt? Is it THAT hard to make an effort to find a few women to speak on their show? I find myself disappointed but at the same time more committed to working on helping to increase the voices of women in leadership.

I respect many of the mentors I have had that are men throughout my career and my life. But I crave more women’s voices and wisdom to be included in resources for personal development. What happens when you ignore half of your potential demographics? They may disengage and tune out.

Biases and stereotypes can get in the way of people making good decisions. When I am making important choices, I want a team of people with different life experiences to weigh in, since my customers are diverse as well. I have seen how creativity is generated from diverse teams committed to a common vision.

Maybe it starts with me… I should consider that. Wisdom comes from many cultures, genders and experiences. Today I am giving thanks to WordPress for allowing more of us to have a platform, to my husband and to Chris Guillebeau for encouraging me to start writing.

Cheers,

cristy@meximinnesotana.com

 

 

 

Saturday Share

Hello and happy weekend, readers and blogosphere.

Today I want to share a link to a favorite blogger, cat h. bradley. She is a writer, traveler “fooder”, yogi and runnin’ fool, per her description. We share interests in body image issues, consciousness, living a good life, among many other topics. I invite you to check out her work as I ready myself for a favorite Saturday yoga class.

cat h bradley snip
Check out her site HERE.

Cheers!

cristy@meximinnesotana.com

Happy birthday to me!

It is my birthday and if things go according to schedule, we will be landing in an AirBnB in Huron, South Dakota by evening.

Since I am mostly off the interwebs, this is a pre-scheduled blog. No Sunday haiku this time, but I know you won’t complain, ‘cuz it’s my birthday. 😉

Some things I am especially grateful for in the past year:

  1. Marrying my love, a wonderful man who has been in my life for 8+ years now.
  2. Excellent time spent with family, friends and loved ones.
  3. The ability to travel and learn and grow every day.
  4. This breath, and the next and the next.
  5. Vacations!

Cheers,

cristy@meximinnesotana.com

Happy birthday to me
Photo credit link

 

 

In the margins – haiku in 3 verses

My Love for this Man:

It sometimes Surprises me.

Never Imagined.

***

Calvin resting on Dad
Our l’il bonehead Calvin, resting on Dad in the evening. So comfortable and so spoiled, our beloved fur children.

In the Evenings.

Quietly resting with Cats.

He fills me with Calm.

***

All Over my Page.

And also in the Margins.

My Heart Overflows.

***

To you, mi Amor. On the eve of our vacation trip. I really look forward to our time together during our upcoming adventure.

cristy@meximinnesotana.com

 

5 thousand hits!

Thank you, readers!  I just exceeded 5 thousand hits on my blog yesterday! It’s been an incredible journey since September. Now, 250 blog posts later, I am grateful for your support and encouragement as I write and process my life’s journey.

Since it is “Wellness Wednesday” I will mention one small tip on gratitude which has had profound impact on my life and wellness since I started it. Every day think of at least one or two things for which you are grateful (as I am practicing today by thanking you in this blog).

Practicing gratitude has benefits that have been proven benefits to your overall well-being. When you orient your mind toward what you are thankful for, it changes your mindset. Many people like to write these things down, and I encourage that as well, though it is not absolutely necessary. When you are new to the practice, having a small notebook where you write things down can help get you into the habit. Once you do this for 60-90 days, it will become nearly automatic, which is the goal.

You can include your gratitude practice as part of your meditation, if you meditate on a regular basis. Start with a few deep breaths and direct your mind toward people, experiences, even things that you possess, for which you are grateful. Let your mind send love and feel gratitude for this

Alternatively, when you are struggling, take a moment to focus instead of what is going right rather than what is going wrong. This skill takes a little more practice than just starting the day with gratitude. But it can also change your mindset at time when you need it.

If you do not already have a daily gratitude practice, try it out for just one week and see how it changes your attitude, your mood and your life.

rad

You are the best readers, and I really love it when you leave comments. This is such a  creative and interactive community. Love and peace to you all!

cristy@meximinnesotana.com

 

Transatlantic

I am on my way home from Belgium today. So I will not have the ‘net time to pick a Saturday Share blog.

I will share instead a low-res photo of the goose family I watched on the day that I was able to get some alone-time to flip the scrip on the attitude that was dragging me down. It is a reminder (to me as much as to anyone else) of the privileges I have in my life, and the gratitude I feel for them.

goose family la rameee

Sometimes all it takes is a change of perspective to change my whole week. Especially if I am sleep-deprived. Hope you have an excellent weekend, amigos.

cristy@meximinnesotana.com