Drama vs math – on financial clarity

On Tuesday I was set to do my semi-monthly financial accounting. I did not want to do it, and I could feel myself procrastinating and avoiding it as much as possible. So I practiced something I have learned to help me figure out my thoughts when I am having trouble moving forward – a thought download in my journal.

Our thoughts create our emotions, our emotions drive our actions (or behavior), and our actions are what determine our results. I needed to figure out which thoughts were causing my resistance/discomfort which was driving my avoidance. What I determined that I was creating drama about what the numbers would mean, ahead of the clarity of even knowing them. In the end, my bank balances, investments and credit balances are just math.

I was afraid I would beat myself up for not saving enough, or feel a sense of scarcity as we get to the end of my “runway” as far as getting more income rolling by this point. But then I realized that I am committed to this journey, and while things may be tight for a while, I have a lot of options to consider.

picture of money in hand
Photo credit link

Even before I got the numbers down on paper, I decided to think different thoughts, like: what a blessing it was to have saved up the money to have time off between my job and my new venture. I can also think: I am resilient and always figure out what I need to do next. These thoughts are true, and felt better than the scarcity thoughts I had manufactured.

Once I got the numbers down on paper, and figured out where things stood, I felt so much better. Nothing is worse that feeling of confusion or fogginess about reality, and not being able to make good decisions as a result. I realized, through a bit of self-coaching and compassion toward myself, I could choose not to get caught up in story or the drama my mind was creating.

Now that I am clear on where things stand, I can make better decisions going forward. Looking at the math, and evaluating the situation based on a more generative and abundant mindset was key to getting that task done. I am grateful that I have learned tools for emotional management that will serve me well going forward.

cristy@meximinnesotana.com

 

 

 

A yoga evangelist gets serious

I have made a big decision about what I will do for self-development this year, and I am excited to commit to it. Y’all know I am a big fan of yoga. I practice typically 4-6 times a week for an hour or more each session.

YogaNorth.JPG
YogaNorth link

Yoga and meditation have changed my brain. These practices have transformed the way I experience my life. They have helped me live with more intention, get grounded in my own body, and helped me manage my mind and my emotions. Though I still have an active (and what I call “playful”) mind, it is far less scattered and anxious than it used to be. For that I am intensely grateful.

The 200-hour yoga teacher training involves seven monthly 3-day weekend all-day sessions over a period of 6 months starting in March. Taking this study to a deeper level with Yoga North after many years of consistent practice is exactly right for me now.

I am designing a leadership training program for women that will involve meditation and/or yoga as core practices. I really cannot overstate the benefit in terms of self-awareness, self-compassion, intuition and wisdom about our bodies and minds.

The application is going in today. I am committed!

Is there anything you have been considering that you are getting serious about in 2019? 

Happy last day of 2018! Hope the next year brings you love and great new adventures!

cristy@meximinnesotana.com

Writing deadlines

Whee! 

Two deadlines today on projects! I am nearly done with both of them but it was a little tricky to juggle this weekend. Doing final formatting and editing, but am reserving time for that, so this will be brief.

Those who freelance: what is your favorite way of juggling multiple projects? It is funny because in the corporate world I was typically assigned to 10+ projects based on what was happening in our region.

Now, as a self-employed person I put SO much more into each distinct project! I can’t imagine taking on more than 3 at once…It’s probably overkill, but I am trying to over-deliver and do my best work, to get some good reviews.

Excited that this could lead to more work. I really loved these first two projects, and hoping the science/research writing gigs may keep coming. 

Have a great week!

cristy@meximinnesotana.com

On the graceful “no”

I interviewed on Wednesday for another freelance project job that sounded interesting when I read it, but I have some doubts now. 

My impression is that the amount of work it would take to complete the project is far more than the client has budgeted or was clear in the posting. While I really like the concept for the book, and I thought the research could be interesting, I have some intuition that this may be more than I bargained for in my proposal.

I explained in my call that my proposal was based on the notion that there would be a draft manuscript produced by the client in a few weeks, as indicated in the description, and that I would work with that material. While he seemed excited about my background and skills, and thought I might be a good fit for the research aspect of the project, my internal doubt-meter started sending me a subtle flare of warning.

Then a little while after the call, he messaged to ask for my information outside the platform where we connected, and requested some free work (a small task but we have not yet agreed on contract terms, so it is against policy). Another warning flare. 

The people-pleasing part of me hates to say no to people, especially when they seem excited to work with me. But something about this project seems as though, while an interesting topic, could become a burden.  The client has some unrealistic ideas about what “ghost writing” entails. After I did some research on the market for this, I believe I under-valued the time this will take. 

As I always do when making important decisions, I will sleep on it and allow my subconscious to reveal any insights that will help me make a final decision. But right now I am mentally crafting a professional and respectful “no” because I truly believe we must pay attention to our intuition on these matters.

Saying “no” to some good things allows room for greater things. It may not be fun, and it is uncomfortable. But I am willing to feel the discomfort and do the right thing. Indeed, living in my integrity requires it.

cristy@meximinnesotana.com

Allowing space

On the holiday yesterday I was reflecting a bit on the notion of space.

I learned through some reading (and probably a podcast as well) about a Japanese concept called “Yutori” and it caught my attention. It describes a notion of spaciousness. It’s leaving time between appointments so you can get there early and look around. It is allowing time for meditation or mindfully and slowly engaging in a quiet practice of some kind.

I really love this notion. The more I learn about this concept, the more I realize I have been actively trying to embody this notion in my daily life. From the desire for a more minimalist space to my conscious efforts to increase my meditative practices, I am pursuing this desire for Yutori. 

Photo taken from the Coastal walk between Cremyll and Kingsand (Cornwall) in England

As I allow for more spaciousness in my life, my creativity seems to open to ideas I might not have considered before. My days “resist” too much scheduling, but invite just the right amount of activity and rest to feel more integrated. 

Though I am far from perfecting this notion, the concept and its appeal for me is driving me toward my next venture. I can feel that, as much as I occasionally feel I must accelerate things. Somehow I firmly trust that giving the spaciousness enough soil, air and water, I cultivate an amazing garden of inner richness. 

Where and when do you find spaciousness in your life? 

cristy@meximinnesotana.com